Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize