i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
