The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
