i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
