my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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