idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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