Already got asked if we're dating
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
