Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
