Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
