i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize