I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Even my vagina gasped.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
