It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
