Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
