his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
