just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
