i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize