nut hugger
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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