Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
