Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
