Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
