Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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