I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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