I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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