My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
