how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
