She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
