Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
