My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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