Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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