I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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