Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
