Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
