that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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