Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
