and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
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