why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
