then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
