I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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