HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
