just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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