We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
