im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
