god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
