I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
