Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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