I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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