Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize