we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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