so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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