hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
