yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
