Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
