i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
