"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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