I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
