Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize