dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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