On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
