her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
