Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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