That's intense
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
