It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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