would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
