dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
