I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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