that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
