all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize