whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
